A Push of the Buttons: songs about Koda Sequoia (music for a minor motion picture)

by The Blindness of Helen Keller

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Recorded on Beacon Hill using the Garageband program.

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released March 26, 2010

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Track Name: The Dream of Torture Forest
And i say one good turn deserves another,
so i tighten the vice.
and your head shrinks.
at least the picture of it in my head.

goddamn every time i try to leave there's always goddamn something connected to my genes
and goddamn every time i'm gettin free always a goddamn koda, getting tied up to a tree
and your head shrinks.


....instructions....


i see daylight for the first time today
the first day in weeks that i wasn't caged.
i did what the voice told me and my feet are moving now. i hope it doesn't scold me, i found a city i'm settling down.
so come over, we can stay up late.
Track Name: In the Car
sleeping in the car, my shoes are in the dryer.
it's a long wet walk when you think your on fire
it's a fresh spare tire, and my hands are getting tired.
i can't let the blood in, getting stuck with the pins
i cant feel anything sleeping in the car.

theres a bar down the block from me.
put it in park and go back how you used to be.
and though i say that i will say it i don't think i can say it.

sleeping on the coach, there's dirt in my mouth again.
sleeping all day. i dont want to go out again.
people i wont meet again? i dont want to meet them.

now im sleeping like a jerk, took off my shirt again.
i can't sleep all day when you turn on the t.v.
and im tired of the mess, my eyes are a sweat factory
and i can live inside my head but i dont think that i'll be able to breathe.
though i say that i will say it i dont think i can say it.

im going to the car
Track Name: Childhood
when we were young we used to hold hands right next to the telephone.
it was a certain type of romance where i can't tell anyone i know, cause if i did i'd be just a little kid.

when we were young we used to hold hands behind our backs in stereo. and you were telling on your brother, and i was saying "i dont know"
and if i did? well i was just a little kid.


and every morning before the grass is dry we all go swimming in the yard outside, having fun with a pickle jar, look i think i found a candy bar!
mr. finkle can we play with your dog? i promise that we wont break the law, remember last time? rememeber when we started a fire to your house? cause i do, it was so cool.
Track Name: My Favorite Greeting
tying shirts around my necklace
eating oven mitts for breakfast
channeling the t.v. guide and memorizing all the air times
under garments fit for kings
over market marketing
and even if i'm eating you make me sing my favorite greeting it goes "howdy, hi, hey"

after work out after glow
spaceman planet ceiling show
circling the limitless, fiding out how everything fits
scalding water ant parade
freezing ideas that you made
taking on a beating, letting off would mean retreating i'll say "howdy, hi, hey"

and this is something i could do all night
shipwreck double ocean wide shark bite
i've never seen a face so blank and white like the snow
oh you were here awhile now but where did you go?

....reclamations....
Track Name: Fanmail/Fake Friends
i can try
try and try
but there's nothing i can do.
i can write. write and write
but there's nothing i can do.
if you decide you cant reply
well there's nothing i can do
if you decide you cant comply well

even when it's hot outside i try to stay cool
even when its hot outside i keep cool.

but i really liked bar soap.
you took it down.
and where should i go now for the sound?
when i want to hear it?

please give to me
the things that you keep
Track Name: The Bastard House
take me back where i belong. worries sick and feelings numb
when it seems good, it's never right.
impermanence is real life.
every painted picture peels away.
i tried to stop a disaster
"you started it, fucking bastard"
somehow the blame came back on me.
chewing nauseous anxiety.
when it's real good, it's always right.
like the blueprint of a headache, some things are better left unseen.
i watched a tree fall silently.
i tried to stop a disaster.
i ran fast, you ran faster.
these legs were made to walk the plank
i'm in no rush to fill the tank.
been low on fuel though i just ate fried rice, open egg whites
crawling through the kitchen, living such a sharp life.
fine price, even smells nice, one track mind's not enough to think twice.

if it feels good, maybe it's right
i'll check it out and you can find me in the bastard house.
Track Name: Buck Up
nowadays my heart says i'm alone
most times i can hardly hear my phone.
but she speaks with elegance unknown.
she screams buck up from in her throne,
"buck up koda, you know that you're not dead. buck up because there's words you haven't said"


thursday the windchill, minus 2.
only leaves useless things to do.
there is this forest and who will miss us, tell me who?
for very long.
Track Name: He's Painting Now
ball of atoms, barely dirt. well you are nothing in my shirt.
twisted up, turned and wound, i think i saw you once when i was younger, a coward clown. and i go there now, just to watch you climb out of a pocket and blow around.


but i found out, he's painting now
yes i found out.
an ultimate coward clown.
and the hair looks so real.
since i found out that he's painting now
he's part of the art crowd
he's painting now an ultimate coward clown
and the eyes look so real.


and i hope you get me with a larger heart than i've got right now.
please dont show anyone the face i made in your backyard.
please add it to the list of things you can't be doing right now, right next to calling me and letting me know how it's working out.
the guilt greases the guillotine, you'll be cutoff quickly, there'll be no in betweens because there's nothing sinking it's teeth in me anymore.
and i didn't learn much but you taught me some.
i know that white makes light and enough medium makes anything run.
Track Name: 80 Days
it's been 80 days.
i'm not holding on to you, you're something tied to my hand because i can't be trusted ever again.
your reflection's a part of you.
a part that knows where you stand.
and when i grab my hand barely touches the other hand.
nightmares can grow on you if you give them enough land, selling your dreams out by the trash
you're busted!

it's true when he says to you
"you're going the wrong way!"



....revelation....
Track Name: The River
well it's a long way off my friend, if you go out looking for a perfect truth.
be alarmed! be scared! it's okay.
everything troubling, it washes away in the river.

it delivers everytime.
my friend if i was you, well i'd be looking for what i supply.
well it's your lucky day, cause i know the way.


everybody waits for something
"everybody waits for nothing!"
everybody's thirsty in the morning
"everybody sings, its boring!!"


oh it's a sharp hot cough that's ailing you, but breathe inside a bubble, feel fireproof!
a sip can last all day!
and brother i know you say "i don't even know what i am right now, i'm a different man when i walk in town!"
well i got the remedy, just follow me.



i look at you
water on the ground
i look at you and everything's turned around.
Track Name: Neon Graveyard
probably bury you in a neon graveyard when you're through.
it'll keep me up all night with thoughts of worms and nails and songs you didn't write.

plenty elbow room, and do things sound stranger in a tomb? i hope you sleep alright, no thoughts of worms or nails: the things you didn't like.



...realization....
Track Name: Delving Days
is it all in my head? electric connections?
or is it just a gas?
two faces, laughing crying, under a blinding exit sign.
fingers on rock, it's hard.
and knee on graveyard.
is it all in my head?

finally saw a ghost today,
it took my brain apart.
made me hide in my art.
and it brought everything. ten thousand feelings all at one time.
it was all in my mind.


the going's slow and when i finish then i'll know.
the going's slow but there in the daydream, alive like a painting, i'm building a statue so i can sit and stare at you.
but the going's slow
and when i finish then i'll know.
then i'll know why the candles are burning, the fits i throw when i'm alone and i'm hurting.